TATM: Talkin’ About The Movies #243: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story & Collateral Beauty

WARNING!!!

The following blog post contains spoilers for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, proceed with caution, viewer discretion advised!

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ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY

*****

Rogue One, A Star Wars Story poster.png

Synopsis:

Jyn Erso, a Rebellion soldier and criminal, is about to experience her biggest challenge yet when Mon Mothma sets her out on a mission to steal the plans for the Death Star. With help from the Rebels, a master swordsman, and non-allied forces, Jyn will be in for something bigger than she thinks.

Review:

I didn’t go into this movie with the high expectations I had when I first walked into Star Wars: The Force Awakens mostly because the trailers, while great, were not as epic and grandiose as the Force Awakens ones were. I went in here expecting a good movie and what I saw…honestly…this is in my top 3 favorite Star Wars movies, it’s as good as Force Awakens and Empire Strikes Back. I really, really loved this movie.

Now I will honestly say that the movie does start off slow, like really slow, the first act of this movie isn’t godawful but it certainly isn’t as strong as the rest of the movie is mostly because you don’t really get invested in these characters that well because the film doesn’t really explain their backstories well. Not even with Jyn Erso and she gets more backstory than anybody else in this movie, it’s not until the second act where the whole team comes together where the movie really does begin to pick up.

Some more complaints I have towards the film before we talk about all the great stuff, Forest Whitaker’s character in this is completely pointless, like with Bryan Cranston in Godzilla, he’s only in the movie for a total of 15 minutes at the most and he’s only there to the magicial mystical negro characters of the film and he’s a character from the Clone Wars TV series, Saw Gerrera. Also, that raspy voice was just too much to take seriously at all, he just came off as a pointless character except to just be there to get out exposition.

Also, Ben Mendelsohn, who’s a really good actor, plays the antagonist in the film, Orson Krennic, I thought he was way too over the top in this. Kylo Ren worked well in Force Awakens as the bad guy because he blended the over the top moments that were actually funny with a more serious and in tone backstory to him. In this, Krennic is just evil because he’s evil, there’s no real backstory to him and you never take this guy seriously as a threat.

Plus, I was kind of annoyed by the brief C3po & R2D2 cameo they had in there because it just felt like they threw it in there at the last minute during those reshoots, by the way, I’ll talk more about that a little later on.

With all that said, I did really enjoy a lot about this movie.

The cast is great, Felicity Jones is great as Jyn Erso, she doesn’t quite reach the level of Rey or Leia in terms of great female Star Wars characters but she’s perfectly fine. Diego Luna, Riz Ahmed, Donnie Yen, Jiang Wen, Mads Mikkelsen, and Alan Tudyk are all really good in this.

The visual effects are nicely done as always, the fact that they were able to not only bring back Peter Cushing as Grand Moff Tarkin, who by the way has been dead for 22 years, but make him look completely realistic and in check with the story being told but that wasn’t the only amazing thing they did here, but I’ll delve more into that later as well.

The action sequences are excellent, we actually get to see the Wars element of the Star Wars movies here as the final act is nothing but the rebels going after the empire to get the death star plans and it’s all badass action all around.

And then you have Darth Vader, he’s been in most of the trailers and I will tell you right now, he’s only in the movie for at the most, a total of 4 minutes….but boy, does he make all of those minutes absolutely worth it. Darth Vader officially becomes that great badass villain once again after three prequels that did everything in their power to pussify him to a tee. James Earl Jones gives it his all in this movie and he is so sinister and evil in this movie, you can tell that Earl Jones is loving every moment in this role, the last scene you see of him in this movie will make you giddy as a schoolgirl alone.

Which brings me to the best aspect of this movie and the reason why this is one of the top three best in the series now, it does a better job as a prequel than any of the George Lucas prequels did. It really does an excellent job setting up everything from the opening to A New Hope right down to Carrie Fisher being digitized to look exactly like she does in A New Hope, this is everything we wanted to see in those prequels but never got. You wonder why they did those reshoots earlier in the year? I think they did those reshoots to not only bring in some more lighter moments but also to better set this story up so it connects the opening to A New Hope better and if that’s the case, they more than succeeded.

After a rocky start, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story jumps quickly into high gear with a lot of good action, good acting, good comedy, good drama, great music by Michael Giacchino, a great bevy of new characters, the return of a legendary baddie at his finest, it’s everything you could possibly ask for with a Star Wars film and thensome. This movie more than proves that Disney buying Star Wars was the greatest thing that could happen to this franchise, one of the best movies of the year, this is a must see movie.

And in contrast to my warning before…

WARNING!

The following review contains some strong language that may not be suitable for all audiences, viewer discretion advised!

COLLATERAL BEAUTY

*zero stars*

Collateral Beauty poster.png

Synopsis:

When a successful New York advertising executive suffers from a great tragedy, he retreats from life. While his concerned friends try desperately to reconnect with him, he seeks answers from the universe by writing letters to Love, Time and Death and mailing them. What seems therapeutic brings unexpected results when the recipients respond… in person

Review:

Oh by the way, that’s not the actual plot, let me tell you what the actual plot of this movie is…Will Smith plays a ad executive who lost his daughter who died and is depressed but his co-workers care more about their job futures than his mental state so they decide to hire actors to play Love, Time, & Death considering that he writes to these three and then, they are going to try to convince his bosses that he’s fucking crazy by digitally deleting the actors to make it seem like he’s talking to nobody and he’ll get fired….

…yeah, I hate this fucking movie. I hate it, it’s terrible, it’s godawful, it’s one of the biggest fuck yous of moviemaking ever. There is absolutely nothing of value in this movie whatsoever. This movie is a huge gigantic clusterfuck of a movie.

First off, what a horrible plot, these guys think that by getting a grieving Will Smith fired, their jobs will be secured? That’s the plot of a dark comedy not a whimsical drama that is suppose to be heartfelt and emotional when all it is the sick delusions of a terrible screenwriter, seriously, why the fuck is Allen Loeb is still getting work? This dude has never in his career written a good movie, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Just Go With It, The Dilemma, Here Comes The Boom, he’s never written a good movie and this is his worst…and this is the guy who has written three Happy Madison movies….THREE!!!!!

Second, what a waste of a really good cast, Will Smith, Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Michael Pena, Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley, Jacob Latimore, Naomie Harris, all wasted in this movie by working with such a lazy script. This director, David Frankel, is way too good for this, he should’ve looked at this script and go “yeah, I’m not doing this shit.”

The biggest problem with the movie is the emotional manipulation this movie has and…you know what, I’m gonna do something, I’m gonna steer away from the movie for a second, trust me, I have a point to this, and I want to show you this Xfinity commercial that has been airing all over the holiday season, again, there’s a point to this, but yeah, this ad has gotten on my nerves since it has aired and I hate it, here it is:

Oh, there’s so much wrong with this ad.

First of all, these grandparents are obviously not that old fashioned if they know how to work a cell phone and know what a hashtag is or hell, what a twitter account is. Second, how the hell does a cable company put together a system that quickly? Have you ever seen a cable company put a system together, you’re lucky if you’re home in time for the cable guy to even show up to set your service up, if not, they just leave and tell you “hey, we’ll try again tomorrow.”

Third, a little nitpick here, the grandfather saying “Merry Christmas, you filthy animal” into the remote and automatically the first Home Alone comes up on the screen…that’s not a line from the first Home Alone, that’s the line from Home Alone 2: Lost In New York. The actual line is “keep the change, you filthy animal.” And also, of all the lines that you can use from Home Alone, you went with that? What about “you guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?”, “look what you did, you little jerk”, “KEVIN!!!!”, I mean there are so many lines in this movie that are much more quotable than that one.

The biggest problem with the ad is that it’s the ultimate form of mass commercialism with Christmas, the only reason these grandparents even did this was because their bratty ass grandkids talked shit on Twitter so you basically just gave into the demands of your bratty ass grandkids because they apparently can’t do anything but play on their phones instead of actually, oh, I don’t know, talking and hanging out with your family on Christmas.

This ad also says that your Christmas will suck if you don’t get with the times and get cable and wifi internet because clearly, that’s what Christmas is all about, not family but watching TV and playing with your phone…no, you know why Eat N’ Park and Fruity Pebbles and Hershey’s Kisses and Folgers have classic Christmas commercials we watch every year, because they don’t tell you that if you don’t buy our product, Christmas will be ruined, this commercial does. It’s trying to be emotionally manipulating so you’ll buy their product and make your holidays better. No, it’s bad emotional manipulation being used to sell a terrible product.

Much like this movie, Collateral Beauty doesn’t work as a movie because it’s trying to make you feel emotional and sad for all these heartless soulless and cruel people in this movie. This is one of the worst movies of the year, there is absolutely nothing about this movie that is good, it’s a bad Lifetime channel movie blown up for the big screen and featuring way bigger stars who should know better.

Will Smith, just give up on trying to get that Oscar because you know what, you will never get it if you keep making bullshit like this, I hate this movie, I hate emotional manipulative bullshit, fuck this movie to the core, it’s one of the worst movies you will see this year guaranteed.

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Posted in TATM: Talkin' About The Movies
2 comments on “TATM: Talkin’ About The Movies #243: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story & Collateral Beauty
  1. […] In the beginning, I criticized the show for being too much like Parenthood and even said that it never tricked the audience with emotional manipulation or a cliché storyline, This Is Us, as it continues, starts to act more like Parenthood and the emotional moments in the show are more justified that I initially thought, when an emotional moment happens in the show, it works and it’s not trying to get a cheap emotion out of you solely to bait you. Especially after having to sit through that horrendous Collateral Beauty and that godawful Xfinity holiday commercial I talked about in that review. […]

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