So, this weekend, I went to see La La Land and enjoyed it as my review for it indicates. But boy there were a couple of trailers that got me so upset for just how ridiculous they were in different ways so, haven’t done this in a while but let’s look at both of these ridiculously stupid trailers starting with The Shack from Lionsgate coming out on March 3rd:
I mean, first off, it starts off with this kind of vibe of a family drama like Miracles From Heaven or some Nicolas Sparks like element to it and then, just randomly it turns into a Prisoners type of thriller and then, it turns into something out of The Lake House where this dude just receives random letters from people and then, it becomes some What Dreams May Come like movie and WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???
No, seriously, what the hell is any of this? This is one of the most disjointed and poorly made trailers I have ever seen, it has no idea of what kind of a movie it wants to be and like they just took all these random elements from different movies and just rolled them into one mess of a film.
In doing some research, turns out this is aimed at the same audiences who made stuff like God’s Not Dead, Heaven Is For Real, and War Room a hit, the Christian faith-based audience because that’s apparently now a trend in Hollywood, just take anything and sell it to faith based audiences and maybe they will go and see it. But honestly, this trailer just looks like a big mess, even the audience that would be most appreciative of this would probably look at this and go “wow, this looks bad” and they’d be right, this looks really, really terrible.
As does the other trailer I have to talk about, Gifted. So, you’ve got Chris Evans, Octavia Spencer again, Jenny Slate, and it’s directed by Marc Webb, the director of (500) Days Of Summer in a quirky little dramedy, okay, I could see this working so why should I even bother to talk about this one?
Oh, right, the uncle is being a one sided jerk about something that should not be a big deal at all.
You remember a few years back we had that movie, When The Game Stands Tall, where this school’s football team’s 151 game losing streak comes to an end after 21 years and because they lose one game, all hell breaks loose and people involved end up having these bad things happen to them and the movie is like “oh, feel sorry for these people because their football team lost ONE game?”, it’s like “no, fuck you, you crybabies.” All this happened because they lost one single game and life is just like, “well, time to start making lives miserable.” It was creating conflict when there should not have been a conflict and that’s exactly why I hate this trailer so much for Gifted because it’s this all over again.
Chris Evans’ character is making so much of a big deal over the fact that somebody wants to give his niece a nice future in a good school where they can use her gifts to good use and Evans is just like “no, I promised my sister,” dude, I’m sure your sister wanted the best for her daughter and yet, you’ve gotta be like “no, I have this idea in my head that I’m right on what my niece does no matter what.”
The movie is creating a conflict for something where there shouldn’t be a conflict. It’s just gonna be 90 minutes of Chris Evans being conflicted about doing what’s best for his niece padded out with dramatic clichés and stupid poorly written storytelling and good performances from the main actors and that’s about it. Seriously, unless this movie completely surprises me otherwise, that’s what this movie is gonna be.
And look, I don’t have a problem with movies like these but you’ve gotta make them enjoyable and neither one of these movies look enjoyable, they just look like they are only here to just grab your money and give you a generic boring piece of shit in return. Neither one of these movies look like they will be big hits and good, they shouldn’t.
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